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‘It’s not rocket science…it’s about properly listening’

Throwing out the rulebook to support people with dementia and their families, For Brian has helped its members take a more active role in shaping support.

“For Brian grew from the idea that people with dementia and their families needed the opportunity to creatively shape support, rather than being ruled by a manual,” says Clare Morris, founder of For Brian. Launched in 2018, it’s a community organisation with a fresh approach to supporting people with dementia and their families.

With 30 years’ clinical experience in working with people with cognitive impairment, Clare was passionate about empowering people with dementia. She joined the Agents of Change leadership programme, which is part funded by Hammersmith United Charities. The programme, which enables female leaders to drive social change locally through skills building, networking and mentorships, helped Clare to get her idea off the ground in Hammersmith and Fulham. “The Agents of Change Leadership Programme has been such a brilliant source of collaboration,” she says. “It’s great to be part of such a supportive community of like-minded people with complementary aims.”

For Brian has now been running for three years. It’s working within the dementia community to find out what’s truly supportive, and then facilitating people to make it happen. “Co-production is a very popular term at the moment,” says Clare. “But we’re experimenting with it so people shape the services themselves. It also helps practitioners be more creative, without the constraints of a big organisation,” she says. Everyone has a voice; some of the directors at For Brian will have dementia themselves.

Underpinning this is ‘personal construct psychology’, which helps Clare stand in the shoes of people with cognitive impairment. “It’s not rocket science,” says Clare. “But it helps to think through what it’s actually like to struggle to communicate. How it feels for people to speak about you rather than to you; to feel disinhibited and then be socially excluded; to not know where you are. It helps us to remember to ask those important questions: Can I help? How can I help? And to listen carefully. People with dementia just want the same things as the rest of us.”

When designing activities for her members, Clare tries to encourage “anything that helps people with brain health,” unlocking the things that people can do, rather than what they can’t do. That’s brought into being things like dementia-inclusive cycling on adapted bikes, which gives people an immense feeling of freedom, she says. Other activities which have got people out enjoying themselves include dementia-friendly yoga, art, horse therapy and street parties.

In the true For Brian spirit, the members taken these initiatives and given them a life of their own. For example, online art sessions started with the concept of doodling together with peers. Projects gradually got more elaborate and as people got to know each other, they started to meet outside and talk about bigger issues and giving each other advice. “And projects important to members have begun to flourish – one person has started making bespoke ‘discovery bags’ with objects to provide sensory stimulation, comfort and intrigue,” says Clare.

Inclusion is a thread that runs through everything at For Brian. “I’ve met so many people with dementia – particularly from minority communities and younger people – struggling to find appropriate support,” says Clare. “In fact, For Brian started with Mike, who’s one of our directors, and Tom, a gay couple keen to raise awareness about LBGTQ+ people living with dementia and the prejudice that’s still prevalent.”

Connecting with empowering funders has been key to success. “Hammersmith United Charities funded us right at the beginning to help us get off the ground, and with them, I found people who understand what I’m talking about,” says Clare. “They’ve allowed us to use their funding really flexibly to meet the needs of people in a timely, tailor-made way. This helps For Brian to deliver with continuity and survive, and makes the funds go further.

“Hammersmith United Charities let us hold onto our funding over the pandemic as For Brian was awarded several Covid-related grants – now those projects are completed we have had that money in hand to provide a seamless service. This support between project grants is key to delivering the continuity people with dementia need, and has nurtured the relationship between For Brian and Hammersmith United Charities.”

Clare believes that if you get it right for people with dementia you tend to get it right for everyone in the community. “I feel proud that For Brian has helped grow an inclusive dementia community, where people have an active voice in their own lives.

“One local lady I know usually comes to the door in her nightie. With regular doorstep interventions throughout lockdown we managed to get her to come to our street party. She sat listening to the music, socialising and tapping her feet for three hours. That sort of thing makes my heart sing.”

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Opening our doors to older people in need of a home

We're inviting older people on a low income who need an affordable home to tour our almshouses.

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Woman giving talk on domestic abuse to other women

Mental health trauma is the unseen side of domestic abuse

“People feel uncomfortable talking about domestic abuse, and there’s little understanding about its impact on emotional and mental wellbeing.”

UNiTE to End Violence against Women is an annual campaign led by the UN. The campaign kicks off on 25th November – the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women – and runs until Human Rights Day on 10th December.

Most violence against women is committed by the woman’s husband or other intimate partner.  It happens in every country across the globe; 1.4 million women in the UK experience domestic abuse each year and, on average, one woman is killed by a male partner or ex-partner every week.

However, even more worrying are stats from the UK’s police chiefs – which point to more women affected by domestic abuse taking their own lives than were murdered by a partner or former partner. Yet there is very little awareness of or discussion around what is arguably a secondary and largely invisible impact on women.

That’s where organisations like Woman’s Trust come in. Set up almost thirty years ago, Woman’s Trust has an exclusive and specialist focus on providing free mental health care to address the trauma caused by domestic abuse and the effect this has on women in their daily lives – often going undiagnosed for years, sometimes even decades after the relationship has ended.

Woman giving talk on domestic abuse to other womenWoman’s Trust has received a number of grants from us since 2012. The London-based charity has supported tens of thousands of women with free therapy and counselling and has been a literal lifesaver for women at some of the most desperate times of their lives.

A client of Woman’s Trust said: “My experience getting help and support from Woman’s Trust was invaluable. I was not in a good place and didn’t know that I was in an abusive relationship for all those years and what was abusive about it. When it’s psychological abuse it’s very difficult to decipher. WT helped me to see things and to understand what was happening to me, which made me understand why I have been feeling so depressed for so many years.”

Tessa Hazzard from Woman’s Trust told us, “People feel uncomfortable talking about domestic abuse. They don’t even want to think about it. Many people still aren’t aware of the significant trauma and depression it can cause. That’s exactly why it’s so important to keep it in the public eye.”

According to Tessa, there are still many misconceptions around domestic abuse, from what it entails to how likely it is to happen and the way it affects survivors on a practical and emotional level.

Many people don’t realise that the term ‘domestic abuse’ covers a wide range of abusive behaviour, from physical violence to economic control and psychological abuse.

Women who experience domestic abuse are twice as likely to experience depression as those who don’t, and it can take a long time to process the trauma – or even recognise that mental health challenges are caused by domestic abuse. Counselling is invaluable, but it’s difficult to access on the NHS and even more rare to get specialists who understand the unique ways in which survivors are affected, which is why charities like Woman’s Trust are so important.

Tessa shares, “We offer up to 18 confidential, non-judgemental sessions with the same counsellor, so you have time to build rapport and trust. Sessions are held at the same time each week and can be online or face-to-face in a women-only setting. More importantly, we are led by the women themselves, who decide what is affecting them the most at any time, and we help them to unpack that and find ways to address it.”


Get support

If you’re experiencing (or have experienced) domestic abuse, and you want to find out about counselling sessions in London, contact Woman’s Trust on:

(Office hours: Mon-Fri, 9:30am – 5pm)

If you want to make a professional referral for someone under your care or supervision, call Woman’s Trust on 020 7034 0303.

For immediate advice or support, please call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

Angelou is a partnership of West Central London services that support women and girls affected by domestic violence and abuse. You can call Angelou for free on 0808 801 0660, email angelou@advancecharity.org.uk or visit www.angelou.org to find out more.

If you’re a man experiencing domestic abuse, call Respect’s Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010327, email info@mensadviceline.org.uk or visit https://mensadviceline.org.uk. The ManKind charity can also help you to escape an abusive situation.

 

 

 

 

 

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“It’s a wonderful oasis. I’m extremely happy here.”

New resident Ann shares her thoughts about living at John Betts House.

Why did you decide to apply for a flat here?

I was living in an almshouse in Notting Hill, but they sold the building and we all had to move out. Their plan was to use the money to build a bigger almshouse to accommodate more people. In the meantime, they were going to house us in alternative accommodation, but that was going to be miles away in North London.

I simply didn’t want to go. I’ve always lived in this area, and my daughter lives in Hammersmith. Miraculously, I knew about Hammersmith United Charities’ other almshouse, Sycamore House, so my daughter went to see the Scheme Manager Chris. While there wasn’t a flat available in Sycamore House, luckily one came up in John Betts. I was so grateful. And I must say, I am very happy with my little flat. It’s absolutely lovely.

What makes you happy with the flat?

When I came to see the flat, it had been occupied for a very long time, so I asked if they could possibly repaint it all white. They did that, so I have this smart little drawing room, and they also put in a new kitchen and new bathroom. It’s just heaven.

It is a little on the small side; I had to get rid of an awful lot of my furniture, but other than that it’s perfect. My daughter is nearby and my three grandsons come to have supper, which is lovely.

Do you like the outside space?

The garden is wonderful and I have a gorgeous ginkgo tree just outside my front door, which gives me huge pleasure. I’m quite disabled, so I can’t do much gardening, but I did bring a rose bush with me from my previous garden, and two camellia bushes, which are sitting on either side of my front door.

It’s a marvellous setup really – a wonderful oasis in the middle of a busy city. It’s so quiet and I feel very safe here.

Have you met many of the other residents?

I’ve met one or two, who have been tremendously kind. I went to the Macmillan Coffee Morning. One can go to weekly coffee mornings, but they’re a bit early for me.

Do you feel that you’ve been welcomed by the Scheme Manager and other Hammersmith United Charities employees?

Everybody has been so helpful and nice. I’m just so relieved I made this choice and that they were able to accommodate me. I’m extremely happy here.


Find out more about living in one of our almshouses

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Atinuke Adenigbagbe

“She walks smiling into any meeting and lights it up with ideas”

October was Black History Month, so we decided it was high time to celebrate one of our own heroes: Atinuke Adenigbagbe.

Atinuke (fondly called Tinu by her friends) is the Scheme Manager at John Betts House.

Atinuke AdenigbagbeCan you tell us a bit about yourself? 

I moved to London from Nigeria 32 years ago and have been working in health and social care for 23 years, focusing on mental health, social care and housing. I am passionate about making a positive impact on people’s lives.  

I have four wonderful children and what I call my ‘community family.’ As a Sunday school teacher, I love listening to people and sign-posting them to the help they need, as many struggle alone. It’s fulfilling to use my skills and training to support my community. 

And what does your job at Hammersmith United Charities entail? 

I started at John Betts in July 2023. My primary role is to ensure that residents have a safe and secure home, making sure everything is functioning properly and that everyone is well taken care of. I also assist residents with applications for adaptation aids and Housing Benefit, and I have good professional relationships with our local surgeries. Residents know they can always come to us for support. 

We host weekly coffee mornings, and on the first Thursday of each month, we enjoy fish and chips together. On the last Thursday, one of our residents cooks a meal for everyone. And I look forward to more resident-led activities in the coming year.  

It must be reassuring for residents and their families to know that you’re here to offer support? 

It’s incredibly reassuring. For instance, when one resident was in the hospital, I checked in regularly, asking if there was anything I could help with. Another resident, who has a life-limiting illness, often tells us, “If it wasn’t for the support that is available living here, I don’t think I’d still be here.” It is reassuring to know that residents value the offered support, and it gives families peace of mind, which comes back to me been satisfied with the work I do. 

You must get to know some of the residents really well? 

Absolutely! They get to know us too. For example, now that my younger daughter is at university, residents often ask how she’s doing, and they share pictures of their grandchildren or stories of their university life, which are always very interesting to listen to.   

Do you enjoy working for Hammersmith United Charities? 

Yes, I truly feel we are a supportive team. I lost my sister last year, and the level of support I received, particularly from the Chief Executive, was beyond what I expected. Even though I hadn’t completed my probation, I felt encouraged to express my grief, and their support helped me feel at home here. I’m proud to be part of this team and the impact we make in the community is amazing. 

I believe you ran activities at John Betts House to celebrate Black History Month? 

Every Tuesday, we watched stories highlighting the contributions of Black individuals to our area. Despite the discrimination they faced, such as signs saying, “No dogs, no Blacks, no Irish,” their impact has been significant. Residents engaged with the videos, reminiscing and sharing memories, and we enjoyed tea and cake together afterward! 

Do you have any Black heroes? 

I greatly admire Nelson Mandela. He inspires me with his resilience; despite his struggles, he always saw hope. His journey reminds me not to give up on myself. As a Black person, I believe in the importance of resilience keeping your head high and believing in yourself is essential. In my role, we receive training in dignity, diversity and inclusion, promoting equality and acceptance for everyone.  

 

We asked one of our residents, Clodagh, about Tinu. She said,From the first day she arrived, it was clear that Tinu had brought with her a deep knowledge of community living and the needs of residents – support, a listener, a problem-solver, and a proactive approach to health and wellness, both physical and mental.  

“She walks smiling into any meeting and lights it up with ideas, plans and information, and leaves us to decide. She absolutely owns her role in a sometimes difficult and complex job.”  

Find out more  

You can watch a video about Hammersmith and Fulham’s Black history here. 

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Quote saying: “The flat is bright, warm, comfortable and safe.”

Introducing our new resident – Pilar

We recently welcomed a new resident to John Betts House. We caught up with Pilar to find out why she decided to move to an almshouse and how she’s settling in…

How long have you been living in Hammersmith?

I arrived in Hammersmith in winter 2001. I was born in Madrid, Spain, on the 5th of November. When I first heard the huge Bonfire Night celebration in a park here, I was stunned, and more so when my friends explained to me the history behind that date. Since then, I have celebrated my birthday with Guy Fawkes night and the sound of firework displays at London parks.

I went to Camberwell College of Art and studied a Master’s in Paper Conservation that I enjoyed a lot. Caring and protecting old books, photographs and paintings with my hands was an extraordinary experience that I have kept in my heart.

Are you retired or are you still working?

Very probably, I am retired now, but as my main job was, and still is, to study, I am lucky and I continue studying, with less compromise now, but still with a lot of pleasure. So I could say that I am retired and also working… or more likely neither!

Why did you apply for a home at John Betts House?

First of all, for my health. My heart deterioration made it impossible to continue living with a lot of stairs, garden, etc and the doctors suggested that I live in a better place to manage my heart condition. My main concern was to continue living in Hammersmith, where I have lived for all my time in London. A friend of mine spoke to me about John Betts House.

Do you feel that you’ve been welcomed to John Betts?

Since the first day, I could feel a good energy, vibration and environment at John Betts, Sycamore House and Hammersmith United Charities as a whole. Personally, I have received all the help needed to establish my new life here, with the paperwork, the logistics and the daily routine. I have felt myself listened to, cared for, and treated with a high respect for my life, my own space and decisions.

What do you think of your new home?

My new flat is by a lovely point of the garden where I can see the different flowers and plants changing colour and forms. I can see also my neighbours and talk to them and enjoy their plants and produce in their pots, like chillies and small tomatoes.

Behind the house, is the allotment with vegetables and aromatic plants. Three gardeners take care of them and they encourage us to take care of the beds during the time the plants are growing.

Now I feel a little stronger, I would like to plant some vegetables in spring. The gardeners show the best disposition to help me.

The flat itself is comfortable, safe and very adequate for my needs. The kitchen is wide enough and I enjoy cooking in it. The flat is also very bright and warm. I feel that I am in a friendly and calm space.

Have you met any of the other residents?

Yes, there are a lot of spaces where you can meet with the other residents, and always when I need something like information, or when I meet them at the laundry or allotment, I have always found them to have the best disposition and friendly answers. I think they are attentive and respectful.

Have you been to any of the activities that are organised?

Until now, my participation has been irregular due to the conditions of my health, but now I hope to assist more regularly. I have been to some coffee mornings and other meetings at John Betts and Sycamore House, but unfortunately less than I would have wanted.

What do you think of the location?

It is a neighbourhood where people are happy living here. Many of my friends live nearby. I enjoy the diversity, the old factories and breweries, art and film studios, the number of workshops and craftsmen, small museums (such as Emery Walker’s House and William Morris’), squares, pubs, houses and old facades. I also appreciate all the old trees, Bishop’s Park, the long walk along the river under the old trees and the continuous changes of scenery.

The small shops, fishmongers, hospital, good transport and other services, along with the almost absence of hills or slopes, make it very convenient.

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